I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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