Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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