yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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