there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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