Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The Olympian is in my bed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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