im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize