well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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