Will you blow on my dice?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
