I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
