The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
