i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
