Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
