would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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