I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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