I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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