So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
