found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
