They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
