I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
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Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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