If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
