I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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