remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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