Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
