He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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