I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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