Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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