Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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