the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
