I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize