I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
