seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
