Soap is not a condiment
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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