please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
