Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
