Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
