I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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