You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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