Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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