so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are the jesus of drinking
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
