But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
