This is not my ceiling
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
