Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
