if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
