I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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