wanna go halves on a baby?
and she was petting her beer can
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
