White coat. Heels.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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