I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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