so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
