sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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