Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
