do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
