My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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