I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
