Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
