It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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