O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
