Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
