whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
