Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
