Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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