is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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