I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
